Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow

I could plead illness, but instead / will write a post about my head.

Specifically, my brain has been wrapped in barbed wire that has itself been soaked in lemon juice and acetic acid. Meanwhile, my temples are throbbing along with the beat set by the mad pipers of the court of Azathoth, and the fixed joints of my skull are threatening to become unfixed as a result.

My eyes have been doused with nanite-bearing liquid which, having reached the interior of my eye-sockets, has collected into a plaque and unfolded into a trillion tiny caltrops, the tip of each of which has an embedded payload of perhaps a picogram of crystalline capsaicin. The visible surface of my eyes, on the other hand, has merely been scalded by unnaturally close proximity to red-hot pig iron.

The muscles at the back of my neck have clearly been operated on by a very competent but equally malicious acupuncturist, as they are both sore and too loose to properly stabilize the weight of the remainder of my head; the resulting instability itself results in augmentation and exacerbation of the other irritations and inflammations.

Strangely, my sinuses aren't bothering me at all.