Nutrition

So I've decided I should have my own breakfast cereal.

It will be like Alpha-Bits, except it will use numbers and punctuation and various glyphs drawn from the more interesting codepages of Unicode 4.0, as well as at least a several Tengwar characters and possibly one or two of these.

Additionally, it will have rain-flavored marshmallow umbrellas and apple-flavored marshmallow dodecahedra.

Included in every five-and-a-halfth (fifth-and-a-half?) box will be a secret decoder ring, lovingly hand-carved from plastic dinosaur bones, which maps characters used in the Voynich manuscript to characters used in the Codex Seraphinianus. Included in every box not containing a decoder ring is a coupon for one free universe, redeemable only after the heat-death of the current one.

The back of the box will have a widely varying selection of puzzles on it, changing frequently: notably, boxes produced on Sunday will have the New York Times Sunday crossword. (We may occasionally license a cryptic from the London Times as well.) There may be the occasional cryptogram, but they'll be proper Vigenère ciphers. Sudoku will be notable in its absence. Occasionally we will also offer cash rewards for finding the solutions to impossible puzzles (e.g. the bridges of Königsberg).

On the bottom of the box shall be printed the phrase "not licensed for resale in Uqbar."

---

Edited 2008-12-14: corrected spelling of "Vigenère".